by Behram Qazi
Pakistan’s day at Edgbaston today.
That’s a phrase we haven’t used throughout all ten completed days of cricket in this series. Perhaps after Day 1 at Lord’s, but very hesitantly.
Pakistan managed to score 449 runs in the third innings, which is their highest second innings total against England in Tests, ever. The visiting side had not breached the 200 mark in five attempts, and out of absolutely nowhere they nearly scored 450.
We never imagined there to be a Day 4 of this Test, or even a fourth innings, really. And yet, here we are, with England requiring 130 runs to sweep Pakistan at home.
Shan Masood scored a streaky 95, dropped twice before he got to his fifty. Babar Azam looked good to end his near four year hundred drought in Tests, but fell short by 24 runs, bounced out yet again. Azan Awais scored a compact and attractive 59 at the top of the order as well. None of these batting efforts came close to what the Edgbaston spectators witnessed in the last couple of hours.
A 121 run partnership for the ninth wicket between Mohammad Abbas the veteran, and Razaullah, the swashbuckling debutant took the cake.
Pakistan were two down for nought in the third innings, and then eight down for 318 later on Day 3, still trailing by two runs. An innings defeat was still on the cards, before Razaullah went full Happy Gilmore on England.
Clearing his front leg, he swung for the hills, smashing nine sixes in total. Before this knock, Jofra Archer had hit four maximums in the series, the most by a single batter. Razaullah has now walloped one more six than all of England’s batters, combined.
A 43 ball half-century on Test debut, and 81 off 63 by the time he was stumped, the 21 year old equalled Corbin Bosch’s record of most runs by a number nine batter on Test debut.
Clearing his front leg, Razaullah brought out both baseball and golf swings, as the ball sailed over the fence. At times he aimed for midwicket, and the ball cleared the rope over extra cover.
He even brought out the back foot punch once, and had the ability to defend the ball off the front foot against spin. His ninth and last six came off Dan Lawrence where he used his feet.
Razaullah brought three bats to England, and broke two of them during this innings. He decimated two balls into the stand at Edgbaston which is under construction. Mohammad Abbas partnered the rookie exceptionally well, changing his arm on occasion and amassing 42 runs of his own. The veteran has never scored more runs in a first class innings.
England will chase down 130 runs on a pitch that continues to flatten out, but for the first time in this series, fans got their money’s worth.
It was Pakistan’s day at Edgbaston, but in truth, it was Razaullah’s week, month, and potentially year.
***
by Rob Barron
Certain shortsighted and foolish individuals wrote Pakistan off as non-triers, wrote scathing pieces and made preposterous comments like ‘the side should’ve been escorted from the field to put everyone out of their misery’, that ‘3-0 flattered Pakistan’ and such like. Some, let’s say some with 25 years’ experience of betting on and setting cricket odds, even packed all their bags and told their wives they’d be home tonight as there was zero chance that Pakistan would live to fight another day. If you find any such person, punch him in the kidneys from me.
Pakistan’s runline was 215.5 overnight, meaning there was about a 50% chance that they’d score fewer than 215 runs in their last innings. Feels like we were talking along similar lines yesterday when the tourists were waiting for England to do the decent thing and finish them off quickly so we could all put this hammering behind us and get on with our lives.
Having been 0/2 and not managed to get 200 on the board in five consecutive innings on the tour, the Pakistan corpse twitched a little last night as Shan Masood and Azan Awais saw Pakistan to stumps with a bit of help from the rain and Ben Duckett’s buttery crisp packet hands. This morning the corpse got up and started doing a merry jig. In the evening the corpse had fully regenerated into some kind of impossible comedy Terminator. Think of Pakistan as Tyson Fury and England as Deontay Wilder doing that stupid dance to the crowd.
Early on it was chanceless accumulation, smart running and various other impossible Pakistan cricket until, of course, Dan Lawrence came on and got rid of Azan to ensure his series bowling economy and average were both, obviously, zero. Pakistan cunningly put Ben Duckett’s hands on Theo Wylie, the man whose one and only job is to field acceptably, and he clanged an insultingly easy chance into the Edgbaston turf to give Masood another reprieve on 40.
Neil Manthorp on talkSPORT told us Wylie gets £350 a day to be a sub fielder. Presumably after this, the ECB will implement performance-related pay for the role because he didn’t deserve £3.50 for his efforts today. What if he was a secret agent, sent on to ensure Day 4 happens to swell the ECB coffers?
The thing with Pakistan is, whenever you are absolutely sure that they are going to do something, they will do the exact opposite. In this case, there have been nine days of conclusive evidence that Pakistan were going to go down without any kind of a fight. Babar hadn’t scored 10 yet, nobody from either side had scored a hundred, Robinson was taking a wicket every five minutes, and Archer and Tongue were doing the rest. So of course, Masood and Babar stitched together a serene partnership with Masood in total control as he moved inexorably to 95. Who better to be bowling than Gus Atkinson when you’re five away from the series’ first ton? He’d taken one wicket in 330 balls so far across the three Tests.
There was a wake-up call for Masood as Atkinson flirted with his edge, just stopping short of kissing it. If you thought Masood would then knuckle down for the century, you’ve never seen Pakistan play cricket. He nicked off the next ball, Lawrence taking a blinder low to his right. Of course he did. What do you reckon Josh Tongue’s figures were at that point? You know, the only guy who has more wickets than Mitchell Starc in this cycle of the World Test Championship? That’s right, he was 0/60 from nine overs. Of course he was.
Babar picked up where Shan left off and, with Shakeel for company, took over the corpse for a bit and carried on the merry jig, until he got to 69 and lost his mind. Our man Wylie had been moved to the third man boundary where he couldn’t possibly do any more harm. Of course, Babar then hoofed one straight to where Wylie should’ve been standing- but he was three yards in - so he backpedaled, caught the ball and stood on the rope at the same time, relayed it to himself and dropped it. Six runs. A few balls later Babar escorted a harmless leg side pie into the gloves of Jordan Cox, who took the catch nicely. Cricket.
At tea, Pakistan looked a certainty to bring us all back for a Day 4 that was, at 0/2 yesterday afternoon, about as likely as Ravi Shastri being the next Pakistan coach and staying in the job for 25 years. When Abbas walked out at number 10 with Pakistan still behind and about two hours left in the day, I remembered I’d backed the match to finish on Day 3 at 7/2 and in the evening session of Day 3 at 10/1. So, what followed was entirely and completely predictable.
After this evening’s miracle Razaullah, the 21-year-old debutant number nine who bowls 90mph, and who got rid of Joe Root in his first over of Test cricket, has hit more sixes than the entire England squad put together. Nine of the beautiful, belligerent bastards.
Razaullah was belting it everywhere. His brutally mesmerising 81 was the best, most entertaining innings of the entire series. Abbas was the perfect straight man in this divine comedy. Razaullah’s bat looked like Simon Pegg’s in Shaun of the Dead as he collected more cherries than an ‘80s fruit machine. Pakistan were 318/8 when these two heroes came together. They put on 121 runs for the ninth wicket. Abbas flicked between prime Babar and a drunk canoeist with a paddle made out of sausages and Razaullah turned into 1981 Ian Botham with a bat made out of fire and magic.
England forgot where the stumps were. Tongue forgot to change the bag on his tail hoover, having filled it up so much earlier in the series. You could’ve had as much as you wanted on Pakistan to win this game at 1000/1 a couple of days back. They were backing 20/1 at one point this evening.
So, what have we learnt? Pakistan are the least predictable team in any sport ever, England aren’t as good as they think they are, cricket is mental and I’m an idiot. In other words, absolutely nothing. See you tomorrow.
Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans.
