Uncorked, and spilling all over
by Rob Barron
The steward in front of us on Day 2 of the second England vs Pakistan Lord’s Test provided a wonderful example of main character syndrome. While every other blue-jacketed official glanced around quietly and kept themselves to themselves, this guy was different.
His antics started at 11.30am, some time before Pakistan’s attack remembered they had to bowl a ball that got the 10th wicket rather than waiting for England to hand it to them. He was goading the crowd into firing champagne corks in his direction so that he could have a chance at catching them. Fair enough, got to pass the time and all that.
He was finally presented with a chance that was even easier than the one Harry Brook was gifted to get rid of Pakistan opener Azan Awais for 8. Unlike Brook, he caught it. He celebrated more than Salman Ali Agha did yesterday when he took the catch of the summer. But then he really started showing off.
Some bloke in the front row made the decision to move the fence very slightly and walk the four yards to the exit instead of not moving the fence and making 10 people stand up. A reasonable decision, you’d think. Absolutely not worthy of comment. The steward knew the rules though and sped towards the poor chap like a rat up a drainpipe. Then he radioed for utterly unnecessary help which came in the form of another steward who ran exactly six times as fast as Dan Lawrence did yesterday when he was trying to make his ground. The bemused man was tackled, a few people shouted ‘jobsworth’ and, for a while, that was that. Say what you like about the steward, he was certainly a character and he’s one of those guys who makes things happen. A bit like Ben Stokes. You might like Ben Stokes or you might think he was so caught up in main character syndrome that he cost his country multiple series victories but, unequivocally, he’s a character.
Pakistan are desperately in need of some character. They had Babar Azam back to marshal the troops but his charisma was as lacking in the field as it was when he nicked off for 8. Everyone seemed to be looking to someone else for inspiration. At least Awais knuckled down after Brook added to his catalogue of catching calamity but nobody else did.
Josh Tongue averaged five in Test cricket before today. He ended up with 30 not out, outscoring all but one of the Pakistan batters (Awais, who ended up with 46). It was nothing short of embarrassing that Pakistan couldn’t even get him out. Meanwhile, the bloke who was tackled earlier went to the champagne bar, got a bag full of popped corks, came back and threw them onto the steward’s patch when his back was turned. Good, reactive plan, well executed. Pakistan, take note.
It’s hard to see where they go from here. Pakistan always used to have magic, charisma, character. They now have none of these. They’re so bad at the moment, that they’re making England look like a decent cricket team.
Dominic, the bloke with the corks, predictably, was ejected. Pakistan’s bubble burst on the first ball of the series and they’ve not found their bottle since.
****
‘Look Ma, no hands’ - Pakistan’s batting day
by Behram Qazi
Calling Pakistan’s performance on Day 2 at Lord’s ‘pedestrian’ would be harsh - on the word ‘pedestrian’.
They had ended Day 1 in a reasonable position, with England 248 for 9. On the second day, they allowed that total to burgeon to 290, and then lasted all of 37.2 overs to be shot out for 110. By stumps, England were 81 for 3, with the lead stretching to 261.
The only bright spot in Pakistan’s batting was young Azan Awais. Before his 46 in the first innings, Awais had a batting average of 60-plus in first innings in first-class cricket. He had earned his stripes in domestic cricket, averaging close to 50 while opening the batting in 33 games.
Then on debut in Bangladesh, the 21-year-old, hit a hundred and it seemed like Pakistan could have unearthed their next batting superstar.
Pakistan’s two best Test batters - Younis Khan and Javed Miandad - both made centuries on debut. You can make arguments about which of Younis or Miandad are one and two, but they are both on top of the tree, and that is not subjective. If you have either of them third (or lower)… well, you’re just wrong.
Overall, 14 Pakistan batters have tonned up in their first Test. But of course, not everyone’s career trajectory has been the same. Awais could follow in illustrious footsteps, or he could go down the Umar Akmal route and completely miss the freeway to greatness.
On a good day, Awais is a compact batter who nudges the ball around on the on-side, and relies heavily on his punchy off-side drives. He is a touch artist who plays the ball beneath his eyeline, and quite late.
Conventional wisdom suggests that he will be able to crack Test cricket eventually, and he was Pakistan’s saving grace on what was a deplorable Day 2 at Lords.
He scored almost 42 percent of Pakistan’s runs in the first innings, before getting bounced out by Ollie Robinson. Some would say that dismissal is an achievement on its own.
He tried to dig in but had a false shot percentage of over 42 percent. His innings was gritty, but not without flaws. The most obvious one was of course an edge to slip when he was on 8, which was dropped by Harry Brook. Then there were plays and misses, and more plays, and more misses.
A batting average of 60-plus - in first innings in first-class matches - does not guarantee success at Test level, but Pakistan are a team clutching at straws with no hands.
Azan Awais was the only straw worth clutching at on Day 2 at Lord’s.
