England vs Pakistan? Don’t bet on it
by Rob Barron
Sixteen years ago today, I was at Lord’s when my mate AJ had quite possibly the worst bet anyone’s ever had at a cricket match.
England were 102 for 7 against Pakistan, with Mohammad Amir borderline unplayable. He wasn’t allowed to play, or indeed go outside, for a considerable amount of time after the match, but you know that story. AJ ‘sold’ the fall of the next wicket at 124 for £10 a run, meaning he’d win a tenner if the 8th wicket went down at 123, £40 if it fell at 120 etc, etc. Much to the amusement of all around us, every run England scored after 124 would cost AJ £10, until someone got out. But England were in all sorts, it was only Stuart Broad and he’d be out soon, right?
Well, actually, the partnership lasted longer than both of Pakistan’s innings combined at Headingley last week: 96 overs. A partnership of 332 extremely funny runs. Outstanding.
Then some tabloid broke the bad news and three of the Pakistan players went to prison. Such a ridiculous sport, cricket.
Sixteen years on, we’re back at Lord’s with the same two teams playing - and it’s England’s handcuffery drawing the headlines. But at least there’s a sensible chap - albeit a ‘hacked off’ one - at the helm rather than a 35-year-old father of two who likes going to nightclubs.
Back in 2010, it was Jonathan Trott steering the ship from No. 3 as everyone else was jumping overboard. On the first day of the second England-Pakistan Test, it was Jordan Cox, a man playing his third ever game at first drop, looking more accomplished with every flick and nudge. It was almost looking too easy for him as he moved to 36 from 35 balls. Then the waters became choppier and he got stuck, scoring 19 off his next 70 before Salman Ali Agha pulled off a stunner at slip. Let’s pause there for a moment.
Last week Agha was Pakistan captain, he had a routine chance at slip to get rid of Harry Brook for 1, which he grassed. Brook scored another 90. Agha then got dropped as Babar Azam came back but came on as sub fielder at Lord’s and took a screamer at slip to break the only fifty-plus partnership of the day. Because, cricket.
Cox was accumulating nicely with Jamie Smith as the pair put on 67 for the sixth wicket. Smith was fighting every urge he had to pull the ball straight down deep midwicket’s throat, and he did so admirably. Then he got bowled by a nip-backer from Mohammad Ali, just like Harry Brook did.
With two fifties in two goes at No. 3, you’d assume England will stick with Cox for the foreseeable future. You’d assume that if you didn’t know anything about England. When Jacob Bethell comes back he could easily be shoved down the order, maybe at the expense of Jamie Smith.
Such a ridiculous sport, cricket.
****
The worst Pakistan side to tour England in 50 years?
by Behram Qazi
Scyld Berry called this the weakest Pakistan Test team to tour England in 50 years.
Losing by an innings and 103 runs in the first Test of a series tends to strip away any defense from that sort of criticism.
The second Test, however, was in London. And that’s a city in which Pakistan have won each of the last three Tests they played - albeit the most recent one was in 2018.
Then too, there must have been some fire in the belly for Pakistan after a humiliation in the field in the first Test. And finally, they had their best batter and captain returning from injury.
Babar Azam won an important toss at Lord’s, and Mohammad Abbas vindicated the decision to bowl first with three new-ball wickets.
That Abbas has over 900 first-class wickets at less than 21 apiece is staggering. That he has the best bowling average for a Pakistan bowler with more than 100 Test wickets is even more staggering. But, most staggering of all is that this is only his 32nd Test match, and Pakistan have played 67 Tests since his debut.
Abbas would end Day 1 with 4 for 56 in 15 overs. Mohammad Ali complemented him well with 3 for 67 in 17, accounting for all of Harry Brook, Jamie Smith and Ollie Robinson with balls that jagged back into the batters.
Ali also cranked up his pace early on, which was a welcome sight for Pakistan fans who were sick of military medium garbage.
Pakistan did field at times like a club cricket team, dropping three chances and mis-fielding plenty. But they also held on to two other-worldly catches. Mohammad Rizwan took a one-handed blinder down legside, and Salman Ali Agha flung himself to his right to complete one of the greatest grabs in slip cordon history, going from stand-in captain to bench warmer to super-sub super-human.
England were 120 for 5 and then 187 for 6, and it could have ended up being a day of uninterrupted dominance by Pakistan. However, if cricket history has taught us anything it’s that what is expected diverges widely from what happens when Pakistan take the field.
England did have a fight-back with the bat of sorts, to end the first day on 248 for 9. Jordan Cox had his second consecutive half-century at first-drop in Tests, and Jamie Smith finally delivered a counter-attacking knock, with 61 off 80.
That meant England are still in the game, and could even win the Test.
Pakistan, however, will be pleased to go to bed knowing that Scyld Berry might be wrong. Many teams from Pakistan have gone winless on tours of England. Good ones too. If this lot can come away with a win at Lord’s, they surely won’t be the worst Pakistan Test team to tour England in the last 50 years.
