The old three-headed monster for KKR

KKR’s top order is a three-headed monster from the island of misfit toys.

KKR’s top order is a three-headed monster from the island of misfit toys. You have three men who are old, really quite old. None are near their prime, or maybe one's at like the back end of theirs. None really compliment each other all that well. In fact, there are two left-handers together. It's like a thought experiment you come up with 17 beers into the night.

It's KKR, yelling into the abyss, hoping that someone will call back to them. It shouldn't be working, but it is somehow keeping them in games despite its own chaotic nature.

The first player I want to talk about is Sunil Narine, a cricketer who can make so many runs in a short period of time, and then so few runs months and months on end.

Today when he was dismissed, he seemed honestly confused about whether he had hit the ball or not. He felt like he was a tailender, which I suppose he is.

And within the space of one delivery, he can play the greatest shot you've ever seen. Or perhaps a shot that should be, I don't know, burnt alive. And let's have a look at his form, shall we? He hadn't scored more than 38 runs in a match since the last IPL. In game one of this IPL, he smashes 44 off 26.

What do you do with a player with that kind of a form, right? Is it just that he likes purple that much, or is this a man who prepares so fastidiously for one particular tournament, then in the rest of T20 just doesn't have the mental energy to be ready to bat?

Of course, since he made that one big score, he's made seven runs in his two knocks, and six of those were from one perfectly timed, yet slightly off balance swipe off Pat Cummins. So what batter is even the real Narine? No one knows, least of all himself. So we know he'll just keep swinging until knocking himself off his own feet.

And KKR have to perform the same delicate equation that they always have to when he is making runs. That's fine, that's easy. Anyone can manage him when he is making runs. When Sunil Narine is not making runs, what on earth do you do with him? Is anything a bonus?

Is it worth moving him down the order where sometimes he actually makes even fewer runs? Is there any point in him batting at number seven or number eight anymore, especially in a lineup like this? So you either use him at the top or you don't use him at all, but you are also giving the opposition a simple wicket quite a bit when he is not working.

What to do with Sunil Narine is one of cricket's most unknowable riddles.

We get to Quinton de Kock. He's been a weird player in the IPL because he has been there forever. And he isn't an anchor, but he's also not a tearaway. He's like a slight plus. In fact, according to the true metrics, he's just about above par on average, and he's a little bit further ahead on strike rate.

But maybe the best way of explaining him is that he's a par scorer, but slightly quicker than normal. He's made consistent runs at a fairly good rate all the way through without being exceptional at anything. You add in his keeping, and this is without doubt, a positive player even for an international, but something happened last season.

Someone forgot to invite him to the modern IPL. A few years back, he was striking at over 140. In the 2024 edition, it was 134. He's around that again now, even with one big knock already, and he didn't make many runs last year.

And don't let his baby face fool you. He should be nearing the end of his prime now as he’s 32. He doesn't get to work on his game as much now that he has retired from international cricket. So when he enters the IPL, he might not be in as great nick as he normally would be. None of this means that you chuck him on the wood chipper. But he's not the fast scorer he has been – though he's never been that fast a scorer – and the world has changed around him.

So I think de Kock and Narine are a little bit confusing, I think I'll give them that. I mean, Narine’s batting is probably beyond that, but at the very least you understand the confusing nature of it.

What on earth do you do with Ajinkya Rahane, who made negative runs the last time he played for KKR?