Zimbabwe's gloom
But what was Zimbabwe’s greatest achievement today? It has to be keeping England to only 498 runs.
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Zimbabwe’s cricket shirts have luminescent numbers on the back. In the middle of England gloom, these numbers shone so bright. They really were nice to look at, well-tailored, the numbers were nice, the wording looked good. And the shirts hung down well.
Great, now we are finished with the positives.
At one stage, their seamer Victor Nyauchi was bowling to Ollie Pope. He delivered a 72 MPH half volley almost a metre down the legside and was flicked away over the rope. I thought long and hard about whether the strategy might be for a medium pacer to bowl inswing to a fielder with three men on the legside. That might have even been a wide in Tests. And then my brain exploded.
Sadly, the same thing happened to Zimbabwe.
I saw Richard Ngarava in the hallway after he was injured, and he looked really broken. He was moving with all the elan of a 75-year-old with a broken hip. He managed to injure himself simply by picking up a ball. It was his hamstring, knee, hip or most likely, a back. He was taken from the ground in a motorised scooter. But then he came back, which is good news.
However, he was moving like he still had the broken hip. So I suppose it is a good thing he came back on. But it also looked like a bad thing, because he fielded as if moving was impossible. And was quickly – in relative terms – taken off the field.
After his injury, their wicketkeeper Tafadzwa Tsiga was hit on the finger. In fact, he was hit all day. At one stage, he dived to second slip to stop a ball, and the following one darted off the seam the other way. He was athletically moving towards balls that a normal heighted wicketkeeper wouldn’t have the wingspan to get near.
I think Victor Nyauchi tells the greatest story of the day. He is a new ball bowler, at the Test and first-class level. The ball was swinging and seaming, and yet not only did Zimbabwe not give him the new ball, they also skipped him at first change. Then they decided to bowl both of their openers again. He was really the fifth choice option, coming on for his first over in the 22nd.
So, he was set up to fail, but he did it spectacularly nonetheless. It hasn’t been since the 1950s that anyone has bowled these many half volleys outside leg stump, and that was done because you had more than two fielders behind square. Nyauchi was bowling as if he had four leg slips in place.
Perhaps the best thing he did on the field was take his jumper off, and accidentally his shirt. So he almost bowled his first delivery in England wearing tight skins.
The bowler who came on at first change before him was Tanaka Chivanga, a strong seamer who bowls at decent pace and can swing the ball. He started his spell by giving up three boundaries on the legside to Ben Duckett. In the middle of that, he delivered an incredible swinging yorker, before going back to utter filth.
Later, he would start a spell with the widest shortest piece of filth, and follow it up with a ball down the legside.
They also completely wasted the new ball with their best two bowlers. Blessing Muzarabani has a bowling average of 11 in the first six overs of Tests. But despite the odd magic ball, he couldn’t find a line or length. Ngarava found one, and it was often too short or wide.
There was something in the pitch, but so many times England just had to wait for a rubbish ball. And never long. In their defence, England openers are a unique pairing of tall/short and left/right. But Zimbabwe made them look like they were both impossible to bowl at, and that isn’t correct.
They also fielded poorly. Sikandar Raza took one of the best takes in the Blast last year, and today he walked past a ball. They dived over and around balls in the infield too regularly.
But it wasn’t just how they fielded, it was where they did. Craig Ervine seemed to be chasing the ball, which when your quicks can’t decide on where they want to land it, is not ideal. Every couple of balls, a player would move into a new position, and the main reason for that seemed to be they were closer to the rope to pick up the ball.
The highlight of their time in the field was Sikandar Raza’s bowling. When he put his hand back up to come play in this Test, then saw the ball swinging and seaming early on, he was not thinking he was going to bowl 24 overs on day one and be his side’s only good option.
He even lost it at one stage, bowling a near-underarm ball for the hell of it.
But what was Zimbabwe’s greatest achievement today? It has to be keeping England to only 498 runs. On a day when so many were gifted, the last two were the hardest. It’s still crap, but it’s two runs less than allowing 500. And on a day like today, that is a win.
A dark and gloomy win.
